Well, I’ve decided to close down Just Shittin, due to a rabid lack of interest. Also, the unrelenting pressure from the RNC, CIA and several foreign governments.
Ah, memories…
Duke University’s Canine Cognition Center is studying what dogs think about. I’m not exactly sure what my dog is thinking but every time a Republican – and some Democrats – comes on TV, he gets up and leaves the room. He votes with his paws.
When Obama comes on, both my dogs (Yellow Dog and Blue Dog) come sit in front of the TV and watch. That’s a quorum.
When Sarah Palin comes on, I have to open the windows. That’s a full blown filibuster.
Please quit posting about Roger Ailes, the chairman of Fox News. Nobody to the left of far right cares what that guy thinks or says. Stop giving him and Rupert Murdock free bandwidth.
With memories that harken back to the idyllic days of Camelot, House speaker John Boehner today announced that he and Democratic minority speaker Nancy Pelosi have become engaged. This despite the fact that both are already married.
“Hey, this is Washington,” Pelosi said. “A girl’s gotta do whatever she has to to get ahead.”
Even if that means sleeping with the enemy?
“Even if it means a menage a quad with Boehner, Bush and Bork,” she said.
God bless Amurica.
Have you ever said that? Do you have an idea for a creative project that you believe would be a hit if you could just raise some money to do it?
Well, believe it or not, there is a web site that does just that. It connects creative people with folks that want to invest $10 or $1000 or whatever to help make it happen! Its been reported in the New York Times, WIRED and on NPR. Check it out!
In Washington today, FBI Director Robert Mueller refused to comment on reports that the recent spate of deer attacks may be linked to Al Qaeda. This comes a day after a doe (a deer, a female deer) crashed through a window in a Colorado strip mall and terrified shoppers before escaping to the safety of a nearby mountainous region bordering New Mexistan.
Colorado State Police Chief James Wolfenbarker was not so coy. “It has all the hallmarks of an Al Qaeda style attack. Lots of careful planning, striking when the maximum number of shoppers were present, the escape to safe haven.” He paused for a moment, looking away with that thousand yard stare. “You should have seen the look in that deer’s eyes. He didn’t care if he lived or died as long as he terrified the poop out of lots of good Colorado citizens.”
Sometimes they look like one of us
When researching Great Lakes shipwrecks, I was directed to this site which supposedly contained information about one of the ship’s captains. It was in Japanese and when I clicked the Tranlate button, this is what I got:
Created Featured Company
Minutes, but others show scars from the clue, may get symptoms similar to the following result. For example, products or nutritionist jobs, comparing them when looking for a search box rather than a proper noun is the generic name of the product tends to be a common feature name is typed rather than a specific product feature names.
This is from this period is limited to a sufficient amount of heat given follicle. This is in U.S. dollars when buying a banana, just as there is not even selling the yen to buy bananas. Remains uncorrected, is ensured a certain vision.
Then, a nursing home in Tokyo and Osaka back to its original state, the flaps are naturally absorbed.
Heat giving follicles [sigh]. That reminds me of home, where flaps are absorbed and bananas are warm and the skies are not cloudy all day.
A Kansas City man, thought he had trouble Thursday night when his old van broke down on the side of the road, booming out backfires.
But that was when Phillip Ransom’s troubles really began.
Two Kansas City police officers, mistaking the van’s backfires for gunshots, began firing at it.
It was a terrifying moment for the Kansas City man, who was unarmed and said he did not own a gun.
“I’m just an ordinary guy,” he said. “I go to work every day.”
Fortunately he was not hit but several bullets struck the van.
A department spokesman confirmed that Ransom was unarmed and said the officers have been placed on administrative leave while the incident is investigated.
When the van broke down Ransom got out to investigate when it began backfiring and the cops opened fire on it. He could only stand with his hands in the air and yell like hell.
“I guess they couldn’t hear me,” Ransom said Friday. Guess not. “I soiled myself,” he added. Guess so.
Besides the damage to Ransom’s van, windows of the patrol car were also shot out — apparently by the officers as they got out of the patrol car!
Police and media reports initially described the incident as the police car being hit by a bullet fired from a suspect in the van. That’s standard procedure in an incident such as this, we were told.
On Friday afternoon, almost 24 hours after the encounter, Ransom said he was still shaken up. “I only slept an hour or two last night,” he said. “I haven’t eaten since yesterday. My bowels still ain’t quite right.”
The van, with its rear window shot out, remained in his driveway.
"Got 'er good, dammit!"
Ransom said a police attorney had called asking about damage, although the officers never apologized Thursday night. Huh.
Just Shittin was the only major news organization able to get an exclusive interview with Patrolman Bubba Gumshoe, one of the officers that smoked the van. “We’re not heroes,” he said. “We were just doing what any cop would do.”
His partner, Patrolman Joe ‘Boom Boom’ Pistolero, added “If that van didn’t want to get shot, maybe it shouldn’t have backfired at us. We were just defending ourselves,” he sniffed.
When we asked why they shot their own patrol car, Bubba was succinct. “In the fog of combat things happen we can’t explain. Bein a civilian, you wouldn’t understand.”
My buddy John sent me this link. Check out this video of antenna transmission tower workers.
http://www.liveleak.com/e/07b_1284580365
Today marks the first day of deer hunting season (rifle) in Missouri. Frank Deerblaster (his real name), owner of Frank’s Guns, Ammo, Knives, Camo and Throwing Stars in Deepwoods, Missouri contacted Just Shittin after receiving a message on his store’s answering machine after hours.
“I come in this morn and heard it on the answerin machine. I dint know what to do so I called Just Shittin,” he said. Good man, you did the right thing. What?
“I feel violated,” he continued, unsteadily. Fighting back tears, he went on “I just feel so dirty and unsafe. He may be out there right now, watching me.”
After pouring him a couple stiff shots from our ever present flask, we asked him to play back the message for us so our investigative purporters could help get to the bottom of this. What we heard was frightening.
[Click][Clunk] “Yeah, is this the gun shop guy? Hey this is a deer. I won’t tell you my last name but my first name is John. Go ahead, make a joke out of it, I dare you, punk. Damn punk. All ya’s is punks. Anyway, Me and the guys we just wanna say why don’t you hunter bastards come on out in the woods. You wanna have some excitement? We’ll roll with that.
But this time, do it fair. We all know how tough you are with you gun and your orange vests. Lets see how tough you are with a full length fur coat and a pair of antlers. Surely you have enough antlers hanging on your walls you can wear some. Goddamn bastards! Those were real deer, with families and futures, not trophies!”
In the background we could hear the deer being consoled by his fellow deer. Then, the sound of a deer blowing his nose and a quiet “I’m okay,” before the caller came back to the phone.
“So, yeah, leave your little guns at home and come on out in the woods alone, just like we do, with your antlers on. Let’s see how you like it with crazy drunk, wild-eyed rifle wavers snapping off rounds at your fat ass! Hell we may even make you the star of our next rut! Ain’t that right boys?”
At that point the call became unintelligible with deer-sounding laughter, obscenities and verbal threats. Finally, thankfully, the caller hung up.
“Unsettling huh?” Frank said, trying to be strong.
We didn’t know what advice to offer. Frank said he was going to close the shop and pack up the wife and kids for a long trip to Florida.
We suppose so.
You lookin at me? Are YOU lookin at ME? You must be lookin at me. I'm the only one here.
Thirty five years ago today the great ship went down.
http://www.shipwreckmuseum.com/edmund-fitzgerald-36/
Change is Bad. Greed is Good. Just Say No.
I can’t decide whether Roy Blunt is more corrupt than John Boehner but me gut says Boehner. If you want to check out this guy, I recommend this link. It’ll make you sick, I don’t care what your political allegiance.
A new Gallup polls says that 59% of Democrats believe it is important to compromise to get things done while a majority of Republicans say it is important to stick to your beliefs even if little gets done.
It must be nice being a Republican congressperson, getting paid for doing little or nothing and damned proud of it.
Meanwhile, another Gallup poll shows that 53% of Americans still view George W unfavorably. So, why to the R’s want to turn back the clock to W-era policies that set the stage for the economic collapse, runaway insurance industry abuses and historically terrible unemployment numbers? Because the Ruling Class likes it that way and it PISSES em off when a bunch of independent American voters try to Change things. It also pisses em off when they have to pay their FAIR SHARE of taxes.
So, they’re gonna show us what happens when you piss off the Ruling Class.
Today is the 235th anniversary of the founding of the United States Marine Corps, one of the most feared and respected armed forces in the world. Semper Fidelis, Marines.
Everyone is familiar with an inkjet printer. It squirts little bursts of ink to form letters on a printed page. The same basic principle is being used to squirt hot plastic, layer upon layer, to form three dimensional objects.
http://www.stratasys.com/ is one of the companies that sell these interesting new machines. They recently ‘printed’ an entire plastic car body for the new Urbee EV.
You can actually buy a small Stratasys machine for $15000 if you want to make your own plastic parts on demand. Pornographers will love it.
It won’t be long before someone replaces the plastic squirter with a wire feed TIG welder or something similar to make 3D metal objects.
This is surely a major industrial revolution.
Former President Bush writes in his memoir, “Decider Points,” that he introduced then-Russian President Putin to his Scottish terrier, Barney, on a visit to Camp David.
Putin returned the favor when Bush visited Russia and Putin was giving him a tour of the grounds of his dacha.
“A big black Labrador came charging across the lawn. With a twinkle in his eye, Vladimir said, ‘Bigger, stronger, faster than Barney,'” Bush writes.
Bush later told the story to the Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper, who replied: “You’re lucky he only showed you his dog.”
“Did you know they named St. Petersburg after him?” he asked.
The inscription reads simply: “Vladamir Putin. Yeah.”
Actual CNN Headline: Volcanic Ash Strikes Indonesia Village.
…after the Friday eruption at Mount Merapi, in Central Java.
We decided to investigate this frightening new phenomenon.
“I was walking down the street of my village, going for a cup of Java, when I was knocked to the ground by a sudden piece of volcanic ash!” said one man who asked not to be identified for fear of retribution from the powerful volcano cartel. He held up the snowflake sized particle for us. We scanned it using the Just Shittin portable electron microphone.
Nice Ash
We also conducted an on the spot analysis using the Just Shittin ash checker computer.
Yeah, its ash all right
“I have never experienced anything so violent in my whole life as an Indonesian villager,” said another Indonesian villager. “This ash struck without warning.”
Now, I’m a purporter, not a scientist, but that doesn’t stop me from telling you that if anyone doubts global warming, all they need to do is to look at this ash. Sure, it came from a volcano but how do we know volcanoes aren’t caused by global warming?
Yeah.
In his usual morning press conference, President Obama today confirmed that he will be appearing briefly on Just Shittin in a yet-to-be-determined blogcast.
Wearing a black “I Enjoy Just Shittin” T-shirt, Mr. Obama told reporters “After I heard Mr. Boehner say the other day that he is Not Shittin I knew it was important that Americans see the difference between he and I.”
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs affirmed that the President made the decision himself, saying that he has been a big follower of Just Shittin for many years and its sharp political insight has been a guiding light throughout his political career. “He wouldn’t be the man he is without it.”
One time they had one about this guy that marries his truck. And then...
From CNN: According to a spate of recent polls by Gallup, Neilsen and the Center For Public Publicity the popular new blog Just Shittin has now surpassed the Morning Farm Report as the Most Widely Read news source among people that read it exclusively.
“Even among people that have never read it, it is the third most read news source,” said Gallup Neilsen of the Center for Pubic Pubicity.
Well, we’re flattered, of course. Shucks.
From CNN:
An 83-year-old man cast his ballot from a stretcher after persuading an ambulance crew taking him home from the hospital to detour to his local polling station.
Retired doctor Charles Gorby said he has never missed an election since he returned from World War II. He was not about to miss his first one on Tuesday, by golly.
“I imposed upon the ambulance crew if they could take me about a block beyond where I live to the firehouse where we vote in my area,” said Gorby of Havertown, Pennsylvania.
After voting, Gorby then persuaded the ambulance crew to take him to Clancy’s Bar, another block down the street. “They have oyster sliders and tequila shooters every Tuesday night. I’ve been there every week since World War II and I wasn’t about to miss it this week, by golly”.
Then, incredibly, Gorby persuaded the ambulance crew to take him home to pack, then on to the airport where he boarded a plane.
Canadian authorities then reported investigating an “unbelievable” incident in which “a passenger” boarded an Air Canada flight disguised as an elderly man.
An intelligence alert from the Canada Border Services Agency describes the incident as an “unbelievable case of old man mask wearing.”
When asked about his escapades, the young/old man replied simply “Seniors get the best discounts, especially at Denny’s”.
I don’t see a thing wrong with that.
Canadians Allen and Violet Large won $11M in July and decided to donate 98% of it, saving the rest “for a rainy day, like if we need a umbrella or something”.
“We were quite happy with what we had and the way we were going,” said Mr Large, a 75-year-old retired welder.
“We have no plans. We’re not travellers. We’re not night-prowlers. We’re not bar-hoppers although we do enjoy knocking back a few shooters on a full moon Saturday night, right Ma?”
“That’s right, Pa, you dancin fool!”
After taking care of their family, the Larges donated the rest to churches, fire departments, cemeteries and the Red Cross, as well as hospitals where Mrs Large, who has cancer, has undergone treatment.
Mr Large said he and his wife decided a week before they picked up their winnings to give most of it away.
He said they had worked for 30 years in Ontario and put away money every year before retiring and returning home to Nova Scotia.
“We weren’t millionaires before but we had enough to keep us going in our retirement years,” said Mr Large.
Word of the couple’s generosity has generated a wealth of attention from the media. “We’re not used to all this attention,” Mr Large said from the couple’s modest home in Lower Truro.
“We’re just plain, old country folks who happen to have a jillion bucks.”
"Even though we're just plain old country folks, we already were living Large!" said Mr. Large
One can only hope they paid their taxes on the winnings before giving all that away.
The world needs more people like those folks!
From a great site, http://lawanddisorder.org/
"Fuck y'all. We really don't care."
Big banks have resumed the foreclosure process in 23 judicial states after a temporary suspension. Judicial states require a judge and court hearing for foreclosure proceedings, not so, for the remaining 27 non judicial states. Faulty databases that track mortgage foreclosures electronically have made big mistakes amid the high volume of mortgage defaults. Meanwhile, Bank of America started to file new paperwork for 102,000 foreclosures. Consumer advocates and lawyers for homeowners doubt Bank of America completed an accurate review of the paperwork. Ira Rheingold, executive director of the National Association of Consumer Advocates, expressed his skepticism to one media source, “These are lawyers. These are banks going to court and committing fraud,” he said. “For them to say this is a minor technical problem is mind-boggling.”
The same banks the public bailed out stand to make hundreds of billions more on these foreclosures of homes.
Read this article and more that will make your working class blood boil at http://lawanddisorder.org/
Less than 48 hours after the mid-term elections, its clear the Republican leadership still DOESN’T GET IT! They actually think the election results were a mandate to start their usual Party of No Repeal-and-Veto stuff. They’re gonna reverse “Obamacare” (their pet propaganda word). Then they’ll make sure Obama is a one-term president (their words).
Don't pull another Boehner
It is NOT about healthcare or whacking Obama, Mr. Boehner.
IT’S THE ECONOMY STUPID!!!!!! Nothing else matters until and if we don’t get the economy rolling again. Yes, we have to cut spending and YES we WILL HAVE TO RAISE TAXES and maybe this time we’ll allow the rich to pay their fair share to, dammit!
DON’T WASTE TIME and energy rolling back the clock to the awful dark days of the Bush era.
FORWARD! Move FORWARD!
If the Republicans don’t get their shit together quick and WORK WITH the Dems to get dollars way from the vaults of the ruling class and into the pockets of the working class, they WILL find themselves kicked to the curb in yet another historic way come 2012.
The voters have spoken. Or voten or whatever.
Now the legislative branch is neither controlled by the D’s or R’s or I’s.
It will be interesting to see what happens now. Will the R’s feel not only mandated to reverse the landmark legislation accomplished by the D’s in the last two years, but to actually stop being the party of NO, and become the party of DO? One can only hope.
The Dems need help. We all need help. America needs these people to knock off the trash talk now and get to WORK. Fix something.
For crying out loud, WORK TOGETHER!
This can be an opportunity to, at last, cooperate to get this country out of the ditch and rolling again. Or, yet another opportunity for the narrow minded pea brains on both sides to gridlock everything once again.
Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with a light from above
I saw some of my Republican friends leaving the polling place this morning wearing little stickers that said “I Vetoed”.
Based on TV ads, YouTubes docuvideos and statements from the RNC talking heads, the priorities of the Republican party tomorrow are 1. Ensure the President Obama is a one-term president 2. the voter is pissed and scared about China (even though there is no relevant legistation pending) and 3. the voter is pissed and scared about immigration (even though there is no relevant legistation pending).
What about the war? Isn’t that kind of a hot button with Americans? Sure the economy, but what about the war? Are they so caught up in themselves that there is no mention of the war? I guess that’s pretty easy to overlook.
Unless you are an American soldier or the parent of a young Marine or sailor.
Something tells me the RNC may be a Liiiitle out of touch with the typical Republican voter. I KNOW the voters care about the war. And their sons and daughters. And the sons and daughters of their Democrat neighbors.
Again, don’t vote how anyone tells you to vote. Take the time to get familiar with the issues and the candidates. Know what you’re doing when you black out the dot or pull the handle. Its very important.
American freedom brings with it the responsibility to vote
Here at Just Shittin, we take our role as defender of the public very, very, very, very, very, very, very seriously. Seriously. Very.
So, today we’re going to help solve a little mystery you’ve prolly been experiencing and are, no doubt, deeply troubled by.
Have you been feeling like you’re not getting enough rest? (Organ music) Is everyone you know dissing you by showing up late to your parties, meetings and such? (Sad violon) Did your boss yell at you for leaving an hour early but you swear you didn’t do it? (Discordant crash) Has the whole world gone mad? (Shrieking female voice)
Well, on that last one, hell yes. But for the others the explanation is simple, ding dong. Your alarm clock was made a few years ago when daylight saving tine changes this past weekend. THe clock chip was programmed to automatically reset the time.
But then the politicians got involved (again) and changed the change. BUT YOUR STUPID CLOCK DOESN’T KNOW THAT. And now you think its 9:00 when its really ten.
Whoopy Shit! Its Daytime Saving Light! Everybody Fall Down!
Damn clocks. Stupid politicians. If they’re gonna legislate the time how about doing something about the weather while they’re at it?
Wow! My eyes have been opened to a new world of wonderful delights! I just read the messages that have been automatically going into my Spam box. Holy Toledo!
Did you know that for $30 they can enlarge my penis? Must use nano technology to enlarge something that small. And they can sell me a pill that can make it rock hard and keep it that way for a good long while. (Warning: it says if you have a tent pole lasting longer than four hours seek immediate medical help)
Hell, if I had a four hour boner I’d take it out for a stroll in the park. Let it enjoy some sunshine and fresh air. Good afternoon. Hello. Yes, this is my boner. Yes, its real.
I also found out there are beautiful women in Russia just DYING to meet me. I can even ORDER a bride off the Internet. Made in China, I’m sure. Course, they don’t say what the return policy is and I doubt it comes with decent documentation. “Setup: Prease to buy rarge American house for bride. Feed rice and fish three time day.” When an Oriental says ‘rice’ how do you know if they mean rice or lice?
And some of the can’t-miss investment opportunities I didn’t even know about! I’m sending my money right now to the Prime Minister of Nigeria on that ground floor Water Buffalo breeding operation. Also to that guy’s assistant that wants to come buy my motorcycle I had on Craig’s list.
They didn’t have any questions about the bike, just said they would buy it. The assistant will pick it up and give me a bogus cashier’s check for the amount plus 10% to me for bein such an idiot! I am blessed!
I don’t know why they call it Spam. There’s some high quality shit in there folks.
Like John Prine wrote, when I die, cut me up and pass me all around. Fry the leftovers and toss the ashes out across an Ozark lake. Then, just for grins, make me a tombstone and put it somewhere inconvenient. Like at the edge of my (former) front yard, just inside the property line and facing the street. A big ole honker too, so folks can’t miss it. Watch them start bitching. “Would someone please move that dead man’s grave? It freaks out my poor old mama every time we drive by!”
As far as my byline, how about, “Hey, it’s me! I’m not here right now but leave me a message and I’ll get right back to ya!”
Denise Borino-Quinn, who played Ginny Sacramoni, the wife of mob boss Johnny Sacramoni, in the award-winning HBO series “The Sopranos,” has died of cancer at age 46.
In a 2007 interview with Just Shittin, the actress said she married her late husband, Luke Quinn, in 2005. When asked why she married her late husband she replied, “Dead men tell no lies and I wasn’t marrying another liar.”
You want I should marry you?
My daughter’s in the hospital and I’m spending many hours with her and way from the computer. So, you won’t get the usual rapid fire bursts of increible insight and delightful humor you’ve come to expect, indeed demand, from Just Shittin for a few days.
All should be back to normal soon, friends. Family first, you know.
There are terrorists and racists and Stalinists and theocrats, but those are titles that must be earned. You must have the resume.
Not being able to distinguish between real racists and tea partiers, or real bigots and Juan Williams or Rick Sanchez is an insult, not only to those people, but to the racists themselves, who have put in the exhausting effort it takes to hate — just as the inability to distinguish terrorists from Muslims makes us less safe, not more.
Most Americans don’t live their lives solely as Republicans or Democrats, but as people who are just a little bit late for something they have to do, often something they do not want to do.
But they do it.
— Jon Stewart
…according to a new study. That number would presumably increase if you included the non-voting American public.
Get out ta vote! Men have died for you to have that right. Nothing is more American.
Abraham Lincoln was a Whig. So were Daniel Webster, William Henry Harrison, Henry Clay, John Tyler, Millard Filmore, John Quincy Adams and Zachary Taylor. Six American presidents were Whigs. So, that’s who Whigs were. They believed in the preeminence of the Congress over the Presidency. The Whigs disbanded over internal divisions about slavery.
But, the boys are back in town. The Modern Whig Party is up and running and winning converts every day. Mostly folks that are tired of the Republican and Democrat parties’ ongoing failures to produce what the centrist voters want. Since most voters now identify themselves as “independent” and centrist the New Whigs may have a shot.
What do they stand for? From their web site:
We represent moderate voters from all walks of life who cherry-pick between traditional Republican and Democratic ideals in what has been called the Modern Whig Philosophy… This includes general principles of fiscal responsibility, strong national defense and educational/scientific advancement.
More and more folks are becoming weary of the predictable name calling, gridlock and bickering of the two major parties. More people are becoming alarmed by the way money, real money, is controlling the political process in America. You don’t need to get out the vote, just get out the checkbook and do a hostile takeover of a Senate seat or buy yourself a candidate, groom him/her and fire him from your money cannon, straight into a high office.
Something has to change friends. Check out the Modern Whigs and see what you think: http://www.modernwhig.org/
After 30 years the Sony Walkman Cassette player retires (must be French?). Just when I was ready to cave in and buy one. Waited 29 years for the price to come down now its going UP because they are shabby-chic tech collectibles. Well La-Di-Dah.
Heard the new Bon Jovi tape?
Next thing I know, they’ll be discontinuing my Apple Newton.
Okay, I’m not trying to make this blog a political quagmire (a quag?) but sometimes I see something that makes me just want to climb up on the roof and holler. This is such.
From one of the better reads (the, uh, Reid Report): “from 1945 on, Americans at all income levels made more under Democrats, while only the very rich made more money under Republicans.” Shorter version: if you’re not in the top 5 percent of income earners in this country and you’re voting Republican, you need to change your medication, because it’s not working.”
Now, for my Republican friends and relatives, I know, I know, the Dems, aka Libbies, ain’t no disco either. And I know you can make stats bend to your will and charts can be made to lie but this looks pretty straightforward to me.
Notice the way the trend is running.
Like Reid said, ‘If I’m the DNC communications office, this is my midterm mail piece’. Yup.
To me, anyone that’s got a pulse and does not suffer from prolonged vegetated state needs to be realizing that THE RICH ARE SOAKING UP ALL THE MONEY and, like it or not, the Republican party is aiding and abbeting!
You don’t have to like Obama or Pelosi or [insert name of favorite local Democratic target] to see what’s happening. When I was a little boy and asked my daddy what’s a Republican and what’s a Democrat, he said “Republicans are the rich man’s party and Democrats are the working man’s party”.
Never has it been more true.
There are extremists on both ends of the spectrum and most of the readers of this blog fall somewhere close to the center. Most Democrats really are fairly conservative about abortion, immigration and other ‘hot button’ (warm button?) issues. And most Republican folks are reasonably liberal about granting an even break to the truly poor and less fortunate. Most of us are more alike than we realize.
I was a Reagan Democrat and I like the parts of “Obama Care” (gawd I hate that term) that the Republicans originated (you do know the Republicans proposed this during the Bush era, right?). The two party system is intended to provide a balance. Well, its time for some.
This is about money. This is about your ability to feed your family, enjoy a decent retirement and send your kids to school. Its also about the fact that the ruling class in our country already has plenty of billions, they don’t need it ALL.
With the rich, its an addiction. They don’t need the money and they damn well know it. They just WANT it. They get off figuring new ways to “earn” more interest, flip another stock and, okay, scam the rest of us once in a while (chuckle) to lard down that portfolio. Look at the size of my wad, everybody.
Please check out this article on Slate for more facts that oughtta get your pulse up. http://www.slate.com/id/2266025/
Sorry for the political post, I guess, but we need to vote the bastards out while we can still breathe. They’re suffocating us, America!
Please check out http://www.etsy.com/about
This is a relatively new (started in 2005) online place for artists, crafters and collectors to buy and sell handmade and/or vintage items such as clothing, jewelry, decorative, art and whatever. You can even Buy Local. The link gives a pretty good overview.
I have no connection with ETSY and no axe to grind, I just think its a pretty cool thing, especially these days.
The medical school at the University of Maryland is using mummies in its quest to find cures for age old illnesses.
Excuse me, Doctor. I'm going out for Starbucks and blintzes. Can I get you fellas something?
“They can’t type worth a damn but they don’t bitch about the lousy coffee either, ” said the Director of the Medical School, Dr. Frank Schwartz. “Just don’t let them work the night shift during a full moon, they do some WEIRD shit, lemme tell ya. Oh, and they do NOT like sunlight.”
No! Don't open the curtain-- AIYEE!!!
“It used to take us several months to complete one set of clinical trials but since we started using Two Mummies And A Truck, we have things all wrapped up in just a few hours.”
No, I'm not Muslim. Why do you ask?
As you know, we are the world’s foremost authority. The place when you come for both shit and no shit.
I just discovered a cool website that just answers questions. It doesn’t take you to a list of other websites like Google. In fact, I was able to download their widget to add their functionality to my browser search engine (Google). SO now when I type “How many tablespoons is 3.2 liquid ounces?” it just says “6.4”.
Cool!
Here it is: http://www.trueknowledge.com/
This is a test of the Emergency National Bull Shit System ENBSE (pronounced EN-BUS-EH). Had this been actual bullshit you would be instructed to roll up your pant legs, get up on something high and open your umbrella.
If you need help knowing what room to run into, what position to assume or what supplies you’ll need like plastic sheets and paper towels, maybe some Lie-sol, call 1-800-BOOSHIT or just keep reading this damn blog to sharpen your bullshit detection skills.
Officials with the World Health Organization and the Center for Disease Control today stressed the importance of early detection.
“The quicker we can spot it the quicker we can worry about it,” said Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. “People need to start detecting it, now.”
I dunno, looks kinda phony. Let's try it again. Okay, a wet smacker, come on kids, for the camera.
When asked by Just Shittin’s health purporter if early detection was important, Surgeon General Regina Benjamin said, “Yes.”
To get a local perspective on this issue we stopped in at the office of Dr. Marvin Marvin at Marvin’s Midtown Chiropractic in Kansas City (walk-ins, hell, crawl-ins welcome). “Early detention is important,” Dr. Marvin said.
When asked if the advice for early detection was now replacing the long-standing late-detection tradition, Dr. Marv scratched his belly and said, “What?”
Members of the powerful late-detection lobby immediately came out against early saying it was much less expensive, prevented many job-creating desperate surgeries and reduced the need for economy-boosting hospital stays. “This is Obamacare in action, goddammit,” growled one surly looking, fat, gray stinky guy with a Stand Up For W lapel button.
To summarize early defection is impertinent. So, do something.
Friday the Connecticut secretary of state said poll workers would have the right to ask voters wearing World Wrestling Entertainment merchandise to cover up because it could be considered campaigning.
Republican Senate candidate Linda McMahon left her job as chief executive of WWE to run for office. A spokesman for Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz said McMahon is so closely associated with the organization that wrestling garb could easily be construed as political advertising.
Voters are also asked not to show up bare chested, wearing tights, with greasy long hair or “looking scary either”.
I’d like to blog but right now, The Good Guys are on.
Click.
Well, there’s a fancy lookin new C-Note getting ready to hit the street.
Finally, someone figured out that the way to get people spending again is with prettier money.
Just Shittin was the only news organization allowed this exclusive look at the new clam. We figure it’ll take at least a week for the Russian mafia to counterfeit it.
Hey! Where ya Ben?
I’ll just shut up and let you watch:
HMS Astute, the first of a new class of British nuclear-powered submarine undergoing sea trials, became snagged on rocks off the Isle of Sky, or Skye whatever, in an embarrassing incident for the Royal Navy.
Dude, no shit.
So, like this big friggin submarine get stuck and like everyone walkin by can see it sitting there with its ass in the wind. So people started saying like Hey, there’s a submarine with its ass in the wind. And other people said Yeah.
Looks like they lit the barbie. You guys got any Grey Poupon?
Helloooo there. Say, old boy, might you need a tow? Tut-tut.
So anyway the guy drivin was like drunk on crumpets or something but they shot off a nuke missile to get attention ’cause they was laughin too hard to talk on the radio and pretty soon some guys from Arkansas came by with a pickup truck and pulled them outta the ditch.
Truck guys are cool. They all have log chains and they hardly ever charge more’n twenty bucks to pull a sub out of a tree.
Delmar Greenwald of Frog Hop, Arkansas recently broke with tradition when he wed his 1986 Toyota pickup truck.
I wanted to marry my Winchester once but daddy said there'd be no shotgun weddins in our family.
“I’s laying in the yard one day, don’t remember why, when it occurred to me that the best relationship I’d ever had in my life was with my truck,” he told Just Shittin in an exclusive interview. “350,000 gaddang miles and no trouble ‘cept when I smashed part of the fender on whenever a wheel fell off. So, I figgered, hell, might as well get married,” he continued, with a girlish grin.
“Bobby Joe Turner down at the pool hall told me he’d marry me and my truck for $100. Hell, I din’t even know Bobby Joe was a preacher but I figgered, what the hell,” he laughed. So, one hundred clams later Delmar and his Tacoma were united in holy matrimony in the parking lot at Frank Tate’s used cars, where they met.
“Lefty Perkins leaned in and beeped the horn for trucky’s ‘I do’,” Delmar beamed. “I know some folks might think it’s silly but I kinda got choked up a little right there, know whudda mean?”
Delmar was a happy man, clearly. But the fairy tale was soon to turn into a sad song when, the very next day, the truck came up missing from Delmar’s driveway. “I ran all over the trailer park looking for her. She’s just gone!” Delmar tearfully related.
Although this reporter quietly suspects some mischief at the hands of Bobby Joe and Lefty, we’re here to purport the news, not shape it.
“This is the way it always goes for me,” Delmar sobbed. Just like that time I married my coon dog pup.”
“The next morning that little mutt was gone too. Prolly ran off with some fancy talkin English Bulldog or something.”
That’s what you get for robbin the litter, Delmar. Never get married to anyone that’s not at least 54 dog years old.
Damn she was cute. I'm gonna miss that little bitch. Got any beer?
Just Shittin 